Anal sex?

So while me and my friends where casually discussing sex as we do we contemplated on the issues of various types of butt sex. Apparently fingering the butt of a lot of men feels super duper fabulouso. Then again others might disagree. However it is my experience that not a lot of men are open to any butt play due to the fact that eww.

Now everyone is entitled to their own sexual desires and fantasies and to be in control of their own sexual experiences. However, I think that if a boy wants to putt his cock between my cheeks, inside my asscrack, pull it out and reinsert it repeatedly, I should at least be able to finger his prostate. It’s not even an issue of my own sexual desires, but if I were allowed to finger-fuck a dude that’s planning on anal penetrating me he’d at least know how the sensation is personally. Then again this is mainly my response to all boys that want to fuck my butt since I am absolutely not interested in any anal action at all (except rimming, that’s a guilty pleasure- how can something so dirty feel so good?). It’s interesting how some guys feel entitled to the butts of their female partners but cringe inwardly as a finger slides between their own cheeks. Isn’t that a bit hypocritical? Shouldn’t you practice what you preach? Mainly I just enjoy the fantasy of answering the dreaded question “do you want to do anal?” with “Sure thing sweety, let me get the strap on, and maybe some lube”. 

Of course people interested in doing anal with each other are more than welcome to. Butt-fuck away! I just get pissed off at how easy anal sex is perceived by a lot of guys do to mainstream porn. That dick slides in waaaaayyy too easy for her to never have had buttbanging before. 

Bottom line (hehe bottom) is that anal sex is difficult and requires a lot of trust between partners, respect and copious amounts of lube. It is not for me personally, but if that’s what gets your freak on then use that booty, baby. It’s your body. 

*Footnote: maybe the reason some men are so prone to getting skid-marks is the fact that they’re so incredibly repulsed by their own anuses they don’t wipe it enough. 

Masturbation; discussion and a rough guide

To start this post off, yes, I will in fact be talking about masturbation. My own specifically the experiences I have had related to jerking off and then diving into the realm of sexual education as a whole. So, let’s begin. Oh also this is gonna get incredibly corny in the end. You have been warned.

I can’t remember how old I was when I first came to know what the concept of masturbation was. I remember walking down my school hallway and talking to a boy who was a couple of years older than me when I was maybe 13 or 14 years old. I remember him telling me that most girls my age had now begun to masturbate so that their vaginas would be stretched out enough to accommodate a dick. My reaction was: “ewww that’s gross”. It did not occur to me that this was complete bullshit because girls might actually masturbate just for the sake of masturbating, not as an exercise to prepare them for sex. I didn’t see anyone going around throwing peaches and mangoes into the faces of boys telling them to lick those fruit dry as a preparation for when they’d eat pussy, so I feel like this is a double standard.

Maybe I was aware of the fact that masturbation was a thing and that boys sometimes did that. I can’t remember most of my sexual education but I do remember that our class had to be split up by gender, and some boys had to be thrown out because they laughed too hard when it came to discussions of what breasts were actually for. (Which we as a society are still struggling to comprehend as evident by the fact that infants are forbidden to suckle their mothers’ tits because grown up people get offended by breasts and nipples, ESPECIALLY when they’re portrayed in nonsexual, very biological ways).

But it came to be that when I was about 14 or 15 years old that I was in the shower washing myself and all of a sudden a finger slipped into a hole that had gone previously unnoticed as part of my anatomy. And it felt.. meh. Kinda weird, but still pretty good as well. But for god knows what reason (Society, Prejudice, Slutshaming, Lack of proper sex education, etc. etc) I felt awful. I was ruined, dirty, disgusting. This was filthy. I cried every time after. Which wasn’t all that frequently because I was so embarrassed and mortified by what I had done in the first place. It didn’t even feel that good, not surprising by the state of my mind-set regarding this particular activity. I couldn’t talk to anyone about it either I was so scared and ashamed. Finally after months and months of hating the very skin I walked in I finally summoned up the courage to ask my girlfriends if they ever masturbated. All of them said no. And I don’t know if it was the guilt or just the weight of hating myself that finally made me confess my crime. In which one by one they all confessed too.

This is bad. Young girls should not be taught that their bodies are filthy and dirty and wrong for them to enjoy for the sake of their own pleasure. Like that boy who thought it was perfectly logical that girls jerked off to prepare themselves for cock but never even bothered with the notion that these girls might actually be fucking loving it just for themselves. I didn’t have my first orgasm until I was 17 and a half and by then I had already fucked two guys. Sex did not become good for me until even later than that. And I am so angry at everything and everyone around me that didn’t speak about my body in a way that it might be pleasing to me. I knew I could get pregnant, I knew I could get STD’s, I knew I could get raped. (Note that “I could GET RAPED”, not that “someone could RAPE ME”). But my body as a creature of own desire, longings of sexual explorations and acceptance wasn’t even mentioned.

Young girls deserve to know that exploring their own bodies is healthy and normal. Understanding what you feel like doing with yourself is amazing. And accepting that shouldn’t be this hard. I can’t even fully relax when I masturbate now because my vagina makes squishy noises, a perfectly natural, normal phenomenon. But for some reason I think it’s dirty or wrong or weird or unsexy.This lack of educating young people too that masturbation is normal and good and natural and happy and so so awesome for members of all types of genders and sexual orientations is outrageous.

Sex is good. Or it’s supposed to be. But how are we as young adults supposed to understand and enjoy sex when we’ve been told our whole lives that are own bodies are dirty? I’m not saying that all teenagers need to masturbate. I’m just saying that hey, you wanna go exploring go right ahead. Your hands won’t grow hair, Jesus won’t kill an angel or some religious crap, it might be weird at first and you might not know what to do with all that equipment but it’s your body and you should feel wonderful for all that it is.

And for those of you who are completely lost; some rough guide on how to masturbate: (I don’t know why but it turns out that this manual is written in a very, very idiot proof writing style, and also a bit hippie dippie, but hippies are full of love and that’s the message anyway so)

Step 1) Relax. You need to be as relaxed and comfortable as possible. Maybe turn on music if you’re afraid that people might hear you and that makes you uncomfortable, get under the sheets, get ontop of ‘em, get in the shower, sit at your laptop, just do whatever you feel most comfortable about. Maybe turn off your phone and lock the door too.

Step 2) You need to be sexually aroused, if you have a vagina that means lubricated or wet and if you have a penis that means hard. Now how to become aroused is a different matter. Everybody has their own thing, personally I recommend some saucy fanfiction, audios or erotic readings. It’s all about feeling good about your own body. If you get off on porn that’s fine, just remember that porn very rarely reflects real life interaction between two or more people and can often be sexist and harmful, dive in carefully.

Step 3) Grab the thing and do stuff with it. This is the fun part; EXPLORE! After a couple of tries you’ll probably know what’s good for you and what isn’t but this is the part where you’re gonna have to do some work yourself. I can’t magically tell you what kind of pressure, pace or technique is gonna work best for you. So seriously, just do something and if it feels good keep doing it. You can throw in some toys if you’d like, I can’t get off on my fingers alone so this is absolutely vital to me (if you don’t have a toy and want one- go buy one! Takes courage oh god I know, it shouldn’t but sex is so incredibly stigmatized in our society that just the concept of buying a dildo is enough to make my stress skyrocket. (If you’re not old enough to buy a toy you can ask someone who is to help you oooooooor just go in yourself since they probably won’t check your age unless you’re obviously like 8 or something, worked for me)).

So this is pretty much the gist of it. Otherwise google is a lifesaver.

Alright then! Go ahead and masturbate! Your body is beautiful and amazing and you should do with it what feels good for you. Happy jerking off. 

Alright peeps! Here is me doing the ice bucket challenge to increase awareness for ALS or Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis or Lou Gehrig’s disease which is a horrible disease that attacks motor neurons. If you can please do your own bucket challenge and spread your support! Here’s also the wikipedia article on ALS if you want to learn more: 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amyotrophic_lateral_sclerosis 

P.s. the entire video’s in Icelandic just fyi. 

It’s 1.15 and I’m in this beautiful country, becoming an au pair for this adorable baby girl and I’m so scared and so alone and I want my mom. Dammit I am 20 years old I can do this. I also want to cuddle with the guy that shared my bed for the last two months. But he’s not here. And neither is my mommy. It’s just me, on day three out of 4 months. And I’m so afraid, I just want to fall asleep and wake up back home in my own bed and meet my friends and not be this anxious and crying. I want my mom. 

To bi or not to bi, that is the question

Hello everybody! I’ve recently started writing for Feminspire.com, a great blog/article website on everything that has to do with feminism so yea go check it out! 

The last article I submitted hat a lot of foul words and dirty language which sadly they cute out but hey, editors know best. But here my audience is slightly more agreeable with the vulgar words so I’m gonna post the original article. And all my cut-the-crap, sassy, barbaric vocabulary along with it. 

Once upon a time I thought I was a lesbian. It was mainly a conscious decision I took because I didn’t like boys at the time. That didn’t really pan out since you can’t alter your sexuality by willpower. However there are a lot of people who don’t agree with that and make a lot of money off various ways for you to “pray out the gay”. But that’s a story for a whole other article. The point I’m trying to make here is well, I’m bisexual. So yea, told all my friends and family I’ve now started writing for Feminspire and this seems like a pretty neat way to come out. Might also be a clever way for me to see who’s actually reading my stuff. A lot of my friends already know that I’m bi, mostly my female friends since I ask them if they want to make out with me every time I get drunk. So yea, hi everybody, I like pussy and cock. Hey grandma thanks for reading.
            There’s a lot less hassle to begin with when you openly state that you’re bisexual. And that’s mostly because people don’t believe you. Yup, that’s right. A lot of people will look at a person that just confessed to being gay (which isn’t really a confession since that word implies that you’ve done something bad, and being gay isn’t bad at all) and be all: “oh my goodness, I’m so proud of you for coming out, that’s amazing, well done you!” but at the same time will look at someone who just told them they’re bi and go “Really? Isn’t it just a phase?” Now please, do not misunderstand what this article as about at its core. There’s still so much prejudice against people that are attracted to members of the same sex and so much hate they have to deal with every, single day even from the people who brought them into this world. I do not want to diminish the effort of their struggles or their constant battle for basic human recognition. But the focus of this article is going to be bisexuality and the prejudice people have against that particular form of sexual orientation. It’s not more difficult being bi than being gay, not that oppression should ever be a contest, and there are so many more sexual orientations out there that people don’t even know about. This is mainly due to the fact that nobody talks about it. I did not know asexuality was a thing until I googled it. And there is so much we have yet to learn. Why is sexual education not freakin’ required in every school ever for every teen everywhere? Believe you me, I will rant about this in another article but back to being bi.
            The most common reactions I got when coming out were some form of these three; it’s just a phase, are you sure you’re just not a lesbian?, oh my god just pick one already!, and a personal, less common favourite: you must really love threesomes. Of course there are so many others but let’s just deal with these ones here.  

It’s just a phase
No, it is not. And so what if it is? Heck I’m not even 20 years old! I have no idea what form my sexuality will take when I’m 50. Believe it or not sexuality exists on a spectrum that’s always fluctuating and ever changing. Just because I identify as bisexual today does not mean I have to identify that way for the rest of my life. If what I want, or more accurately who I want changes in the next few years that does not mean I was “faking it” for attention. If who I want changes in the next five minutes that does not mean either I was “faking it”. Because it’s my sexuality, it’s mine to identify and even if it is in fact “just a phase” (which is a very vague term. What are we talking about here? A decade? Two months? The amount of time it takes to digest gum if you accidentally swallow it?) that doesn’t make it any less significant. What people are really doing when they tell others that their sexuality is just a phase is telling them that they know better. “I’m bisexual”. “It’s just a phase”. “Really? Well since you know so much more about my sexual and romantic desires than I myself do, can you tell me how long this phase will last? What form it will take? To what degree? And again, since you know so much you almighty creature, can you explain to me why I have this weird thing about having sex with my socks on? Thanks”.

Are you sure you’re just not a lesbian?
Yea, pretty sure. I mean, I like cock. So that kinda deals with the whole thing for me. Don’t get me wrong, I like boobs too. But yea, so not gay.  And hell no, so not straight.
             Why do people even think this is a possible explanation? Is the concept of being attracted to more than one gender so difficult to grasp that people automatically assume you’re trying to admit to that you’re into people who share your genitalia and coming out as bi is just a stepping stone to the finality of lesbianism?

Oh my god just pick one already!
I did pick. I’m bi. Weren’t you listening when I was telling you all this? Now, now, calm down. I know you’re having difficulty processing this information since it ventures out the immense dualism that has taken over our classification of humans (straight or gay, man or woman, white or… any other skin colour than white). But use that opportunity to widen your horizon! I am not confused about my sexual orientation. I don’t feel attracted to men and women in the same way, either romantically or sexually, but that doesn’t lessen the truth in the fact that I am bisexual. Why is it so hard for people to grasp the concept of liking more than one gender? It’s as if someone asked me what my favourite colour was. “Yellow and green”. “No, you can’t like two colours!! You have to pick just one!” See? This is stupid. And so are you if you think bisexuals just need to “pick one already”.
            It’s also worth noting that even if people accept the fact that you’re bisexual, sometimes they tend to forget it if you’re not single. It is ridiculous how much bisexuality gets erased when people are in a committed relationship with someone. It’s as if my sexuality has evaporated and morphed into either straight or gay depending on the gender of my significant other. So let’s be clear on this, regardless of the gender of the individual I am dating I remain bisexual until I state otherwise. Mkay?

So you must really love threesomes
Bite me.

If you have ever used any of these reactions to someone who’s telling you they’re bisexual and therefore not heterosexual which is the ultimate standardized norm you need to get your act together. Because when you tell me that I’m confused, that it’s just a phase, that I’ll eventually pick one gender, that I just haven’t met the right guy yet and any other crap people spit in my face instead of just BELIEVING ME you’re erasing my sexuality. I am bisexual. So as a rough guide to how to deal with someone coming out as bisexual: Listen to them and believe what they’re saying. 

Update: The guy just knocked on my door asking to borrow the sequel to the comic book he was reading. He than asked if it was too late now to do something (which, sadly it is since I have to wake up at 6 am). We then agreed that cuddling and watching movies is much more fun than playing board games. ..what’s happening? Is this fliriting? I have limited experience with the concept and I’m confused. 

So tonight after dinner I asked one of my coworkers if he wanted to hang out when his shift was over, because frankly there is absolutely nothing to do around here. He said sure, cool. And so after his shift I went back down to the kitchen to meet up and he was reading and didn’t even look at me. And I just stood there, staring down at him not having any idea what to do. Then I waited for 20 minutes until I just went back up to my room. He didn’t say anything, and I didn’t say anything. I’m pretty sure this is the most passive-aggressive thing to have ever happened to me. 

I am so tired of my current state of life. I just want to fast forward two months. And while I’m waiting for the perfect spot to hit play again I wanna make out with someone with a feverish passion and then cuddle.